Who We Are
by InAlaskaItSnows
Summary: A look into certain characters' pasts before Division and pre-show. Mostly the minor characters but may progress to Michael, Alex and Nikita. 1st chapter is Birkhoff! T for safety but might change to M. Mild angst.


This is my first fanfiction! I can't wait until mid-season for season 4 so I've busied myself by writing Nikita fics. I hope you like it :)

There's not nearly enough Birkhoff fics as there should be and the show hasn't explored his background so this is my speculation on what happened to him before Division.

**NOTE**: English is not my first language so sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes. I get confused with past perfect and past tenses :(

**SECOND NOTE**: I'm from France and I now live in the UK so I have absolutely no idea what America is like. I also do not know how American schools work so sorry if this is a bit off.

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Birkhoff was always up hours before everyone else in the house even though he stayed on his computer all night and collapsed from sleep deprivation on a regular basis. Sometimes he would drift off during his breakfast and wake up minutes later with his head in his bowl of soggy Lucky Charms. Fortunately, he was a light sleeper and his subconscious had learned to recognize the pattern of sounds that signaled his father getting up in the morning:

-soft brush of a heavy wooden door against the too thick carpet in the hallway  
-one step on the hardwood floor of the landing  
-faint gargle of water through the pipes  
-squeak, fourth step from the top of the staircase

As soon as he heard those sounds, he finished up whatever he was doing and scurried out of his father's way to avoid the disapproving stares and sighs. When his mother was pregnant with him, his father had probably envisioned a tough, athletic little boy who played catch with him in the backyard and always scored home runs when he played baseball. Birkhoff could imagine his father's disappointment when he flat-out refused to play any type of sport and cried when the kids in his class made fun of him because he was overweight and asthmatic.

He could handle the disapproval. He learnt to ignore it. Time passed. He had outgrown a lot of things, including his asthma, but his father had never really connected with him. Whenever he had turned from a pudgy little boy to an acne-ridden teenager, his father became indifferent. When he had gotten good grades in school, his mother had fussed over him and gave him ice-cream sundaes but his father had had a stone cold expression on his face and his eyes had remained glued to the TV screen or the newspaper or anything else that wasn't his son. After that, he had learned some basic hacking skills so he could get access to the school's network and change the grades on his report card so it looked like he got straight 'A's. When he had shown the report card to his father, he only got a grunt of acknowledgement.

He had approached his mother about the tension between him and his father, but she had insisted that he was just having a bad time at work and everything would be alright in a month or so. He had really wanted to believe her, but he didn't. He just had to look at the other guys with their fathers, laughing and joking around, to know that his father would never accept him. That was why he had started a mission to see something on his father's face besides indifference, disapproval or disappointment. He had gotten a job. He had gotten a girlfriend. Nothing. His father had remained distant.

When it was clear nothing legal was going to grab his father's attention, he had turned to shoplifting. (He had only wanted to get caught shoplifting so he never actually took stolen items out of the store, he just carried them around in his jacket and tried to look as suspicious as possible.) It didn't work. He was never caught. He had considered writing a letter to Target telling them their security guards needed replacing.

It wasn't until he found one of his old forged report cards stuffed behind his closet that he thought of using his computer to make his father notice him. As fate would have it, a Romanian computer genius called Costin and his family moved into town and Costin was put into Birkhoff's class. He was partnered with Birkhoff in biology and the two became close friends. He taught Birkhoff everything he needed to know and in return, Birkhoff taught him words in English that you wouldn't find in a textbook.

By the end of high school, Birkhoff could hack into mostly everything. There were obvious places that he couldn't and wouldn't hack, like Langley or the Pentagon (he wasn't that stupid or big-headed to even attempt those places) but he thought he was a pretty decent hacker.

In college, Birkhoff started to make a name for himself in the hacker world as Shadow Walker. He hacked into systems and exposed illegal operations. He considered himself to be the Batman of computers.

He had forgotten all about his father until he received a phone call informing him of his mother's death.

It was a car accident. She had decided to pay him a surprise visit but on her way over a drunk driver hit her car straight on and she died.

The funeral was tense. His father was still cold and indifferent but there were dark circles under his bloodshot eyes and his hair was a mess. Birkhoff could tell he was suffering. Maybe this was the right time to mend their relationship? After the service, he approached his father.

"Dad-" Birkhoff began.

"It's your fault she's dead," he cut him off.

Did he hear him right? "What?"

"It's your fault she's dead."

"No," he explained. Did his father not know what happened to her? "It was a car accident-"

"That you caused. She was on her way to visit you. If you hadn't gone to college, she wouldn't have to drive three-hundred miles to visit you."

"It's not my fault!"

His father did not reply, he just gave him the same stony stare he always did.

Birkhoff balled his fists. He was sick of his father always putting him down and never expressing any interest in his achievements. Now he had the audacity to say he caused his mother's death?

"It's not my fault and you know it! It was an accident! I did _not_ kill her! I didn't tell her to come and visit me!"

"You are worthless and pathetic. You think you're something just because you can work a computer. You will _never_ amount to anything, and you are _not my son_."

His father turned and stormed away from him. Birkhoff's eyes watered. He knew his father didn't like him, but hearing him say it out loud made him devastated. Swallowing his tears, he set his mind on showing his father just how much he could do. He needed to do something memorable, something that people would talk about for years to come.

It took him a week, but he finally figured out what he was going to do.

He was going to hack the Pentagon.

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SORRY IT IS SHORT!

I might continue this if I feel like it and if you guys want me to. Just suggest who's backstory you would like to see and I might write it. Nikita and Michael I will leave to last if I even do them. What about Roan? No, I think that would scare me too much...

Alaska xx

**ANOTHER NOTE**: PM me if you have any questions/ideas about this story.

**YET ANOTHER NOTE**: chill-the-beans, my penpal/best friend/sister helped me with writing. Love ya Jodi!


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